Being vulnerable

I ask my clients every day to be vulnerable with me. To show me different sides of their personality that most don’t see.

I thought since I’m asking so much of you I should show you some of my personality.

As some of you know I don’t really like to have my picture taken. Sounds crazy since this is what I do but It is true.

It was different when I was younger, I was always snapping pictures with my friends and family and then I got to a place many years later when I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I had been married and had babies and I’m not sure when exactly it changed but all of a sudden I would cringe at the site of myself.

We all grow up, our features change and we evolve into adults. However, when you don’t recognize the person looking back at you it takes a toll and for me, sent me into a deep depression. If I’m not who I have always been who the hell am I? I chalk some of it up to losing myself when I had kids and throwing myself into the mom world but I also let myself go and became the last person I thought about taking care of.

It has been years since I first realized this and I have worked hard to dig myself out of that self loathing pit. It took hard work in the form of looking at myself, talking kindly to my body and feeding my mind with positivity and love. I had to walk away from who I was and how I was raised to bring in a new side of myself. One that I could love and be proud of.

I still feel like I have more work to do but I have come much farther than I ever thought I could. I did these self portraits a few months ago and I can honestly say I’m starting to see the beauty that has always been there. I just needed to polish her up a bit.

I know my story isn’t unique, I know others are out in the wild feeling the same way and while it sucks when your in it I know its the sludge that makes you a stronger person. If you can make it through that and come out on the other side you are closer than ever to finding peace with yourself.

You don’t have to love yourself but I believe you should appreciate your journey and give yourself grace for everything you have been through. Accepting yourself is one of the best feelings in the world and I hope if you are reading about my journey it gives you some courage to start on your own.

Now that you know my story maybe you can share yours with me.